Wisdom

After investing hundreds of hours in a work-related project outside the office, which had been assigned to me through assimilation, I received a gift certificate from my boss for $50. Though not one to be confrontational or given to angry outbursts, I suffered silently, but nonetheless indignant and insulted, I decided to let my boss know how I felt, as the company I worked for had some deep pockets.

So, I wrote a lengthy letter describing my emotions in rampant detail, each word seething with contempt and each sentence filled with raucous adjectives. I enclosed the gift certificate, sealed the envelope, and feeling totally righteous, I placed the letter on his desk, thinking he would seek appropriate restitution from the corporate office.

Two days passed without incident. He was very quiet; noticeably avoiding any eye contact with me, and the atmosphere in the office was tense and uncomfortable. On the third day, he asked me to meet him in his office and, feeling quite proud of myself, I knew I had made my point very well and expected an apology from him on behalf of senior management.

The meeting started slowly with him looking down at his desk, his lips taut, as he gazed intently at my letter open and unfolded in front of him. His face reddened as he lifted the letter and held it in front of me. His eyes stared intently at me, and with an unsmiling, low tone, he addressed me with measured words that have never been forgotten. He said, “I have written letters like this when I’ve been angry, but always had the good sense to throw them out before delivering them.” He shared that the $50 gift certificate did not come from corporate but from him, personally, which was a considerable amount at the time. Although he continued with a few more carefully worded sentences, it was a short meeting, and ended with me in tears, acknowledging my infraction, thus apologizing profusely for my immaturity and altogether reckless response to the issue.

Bridge (After the Storm)

A Christian, my boss had the wisdom to recognize that the letter was not authored by a person who was inherently mean-spirited and spiteful, but one who was naïve, hurt, and lacked good judgment. He would have been within his right to terminate my employment, but to my amazement, he didn’t. In fact, he and I became very good friends and are to this day—and I’ve always believed this event served as the foundation. Surprisingly, years later when he and his wife invited me for lunch, he didn’t remember the letter or the ensuing meeting. What has been one of the most pivotal memories in my life was unimportant to him.

Since then, I have had a number of opportunities to be equally irate, to which I have addressed a number of written tirades. However, before sealing the envelope or pressing “send” on the email or text, I have remembered this boss’ insightful words and discarded the respective diatribe.

Blesson

I shudder in embarrassment when I think of how I dealt with this situation. But the lesson I learned was, indeed, one of the most important I’ve had in my life.

Though anger, in itself, is not a sin, the methods we choose to deal with it can lead to some precarious situations. Beginning as an emotion, anger culminates into an attitude and exhibits itself as an action. Feelings of irritation or annoyance can develop into a hostile attitude that can ultimately lead to a destructive action or behavior.

The Bible cautions us to be slow in expressing our anger, and Ephesians 4:26 is very clear in its direction that when we are angry, we are not to sin. I had hastily expressed my anger in a very hurtful manner to my boss, which could have led to my termination and even more resentment. However, even though I never was paid for an hour of the time I had invested in this project and my boss kept the $50 gift certificate, God used this wise man to give me priceless guidance that I’ve relied on in many situations that have followed.

Substance

“Do not go out hastily to argue your case; Otherwise, what will you do in the end, when your neighbor humiliates you?” (Proverbs 28:5 New American Standard)

“Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” (James 1:19 New Living Translation)

“In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” (Ephesians 4:26 New International Version)